August 17, 2006

Poetry Thursday- August 17th

This week’s prompt was a free for all, and I ran out of time this week to put a lot of time into my poem. So I sat down before I was going to bed and decided to write a free thought, stream of consciousness poem. I did not edit or change any words. I left them as they came out. I may go back and work on this further. I find that sometimes poems that simply come to exist on their own terms are the best ones. You be the judge:


Untitled

the bougainvillea i almost
killed is coming back to life
tiny green leaves
yearning for whatever
is out there
to be given

in here,
she changes everyday
we nap
we feed
life is on course

an orchid i left for dead
is also green and the jasmine bush should
fill the yard with its
presents

everything is reborn
the sun melts with the rain
and we sit basking in the glow

how can these spontaneous words
capture such
grace

how can we be expected to share
these wonders

perhaps i will find you
in sleep
and we can come to the realization
that there is no distance between any of this

4 comments:

  1. snapshot into an everyday life. i am not a poetry expert- so i can't say if you should edit or not. this seems fine the way it is.

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  2. i like the idea of you "growing " your daughter in your house.

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  3. Yeah, I like the idea of the irresponsible gardener now in charge of a human life. Can he help her bear fruit? See, themes develope sometimes without even trying. I would appreciate any other craft oriented comments.

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  4. I loved the line, "tiny green leaves yearning for whatever is out there to be given"

    There is so much need in us, as human beings, that I sometimes feel this" yearning for whatever is out there" deep in my soul. Sometimes anything will do.

    It also speaks to the way children yearn for our love, even the faintest morsels to be had, being their own type of tiny, green leaf.

    Great stuff.

    The writer in me cringes at the idea of revising, each word, each abstract thought was there for a reason - true to only the moment in which it was hatched.

    So with my own bias in my mind, I say leave it as is, it is wonderful.

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