Self-Portrait: Imperfectly Too Serious

So sick and tired of all these pictures of me
Completely wrong,
Totally wrong
I'm not surprised and really, why should I be?
See nothing wrong,
So sick and tired of all these pictures of me
Oh everybodys dying just to get the disease

Elliott Smith

With the Self-Portrait Challenge asking for reflections on imperfections and flaws, the fact that I was fasting for the entire month, and that I ended a crazy busy ten-week run at work, made October an arduous month. The result was a series of posts and photographs displaying some of my negative personal traits, and me throwing tantrums for attention, to the point where friends were wondering if I was alright. I may have been a bit too hard on myself, as I am apt to be, but to be honest, I live for this type of honest self-examination and exposure, so it wasn’t all that grueling, but it has left me exhausted and ready to move on.

Things have changed. The fasting is over; I spent a week revitalizing myself by spending quality time with my fabulous little girl at the beach, and this is the last week for imperfections at SPC. So the final flaw that I will be presenting is that fact that I often take myself too seriously. I try and present an image of a dour, scowling, guilt ridden malcontent that is constantly over analyzing every aspect of his life. When in reality, these “serious” topics are just what I choose to write about because writing about them helps me better understand the world and my place in it. I think people who know me would agree that this image I have so carefully crafted is not really accurate. One of my priorities in life is to have fun. I have a pretty sharp sense of humor and there is nothing I enjoy more than having a good time. I look for opportunities to try new things and simply enjoy every aspect of my life. So it must seem strange to friends who have seen the lighter side of my personality to constantly read about all the “issues” I raise.

So this week’s portrait is an attempt to break away from the carefully crafted image that I have portrayed since joining the SPC. I just wanted to get silly and show a glimpse of a side of me I rarely present. Because if Abbie Hoffman and Ken Kesey have taught me anything, it is to have fun and not take yourself too seriously while you make people think. Life is good, see pictures in the previous link for proof.