Reality, when one examines it closely and becomes fully aware of its magnitude, rarely disappoints. I have been mired in conjecture and wishful thinking since March 10th. Today, I finally accepted my reality, and it looks a little something like this:
I will be living in Doha for one more year. I made a mistake coming here. I made a mistake of over exposing myself on the Internet and was fired for it. I chose to come here. I chose to take the risk. The results of my actions are mine alone. I am not a victim. I am healthy. I am sound of mind, and I sleep in a warm king size bed in an air-conditioned house on a nightly basis. I have more than enough food to eat and my family income is more than sufficient for our needs. I made more money tutoring a kid tonight than some people make in months.
I have the most beautiful little girl who has ever walked the earth. She is a constant source of magic in my life that I try not to ever take for granted. I have a beautiful wife who loves and supports me. We are best friends and I love her company. My family has never done anything but love me unconditionally. They call and are concerned by my daily angst. I have a group of friends who inspire and motivate me to be a better person. I talk to them often about books, education, and life.
I have access to state of the art cameras, video equipment, and computers to express myself and connect with the world. I have two guitars, which I love dearly, and two cats that I don’t give enough attention to. I generally love the world and am aware of the little things like the flowers blooming and being tossed by the sun and sand in my garden.
I have over six thousand songs on my iTunes that are a constant source of strength and courage for me. I have been offered a job next year here in Doha that will pay me more than I was making at my last job and allow me to work with K-5 kids. This will be very rewarding for me.
I will spend my summer in Malaysia swimming with my daughter, catching up with friends, going to movies, and relaxing. We will spend some time in Angkor Wat and Phuket. I will take many photos that will touch people who see them. I see the world in a unique way. We will become tan. My beard will grow. So I am not moving to Belgium or Japan. Maybe they are right- what is meant to happen will happen. Who am I to try and force anything else? Reality is just fine with me. Finally, I feel it…there it is, Peace.