May 21, 2008


Reality, when one examines it closely and becomes fully aware of its magnitude, rarely disappoints. I have been mired in conjecture and wishful thinking since March 10th. Today, I finally accepted my reality, and it looks a little something like this:

I will be living in Doha for one more year. I made a mistake coming here. I made a mistake of over exposing myself on the Internet and was fired for it. I chose to come here. I chose to take the risk. The results of my actions are mine alone. I am not a victim. I am healthy. I am sound of mind, and I sleep in a warm king size bed in an air-conditioned house on a nightly basis. I have more than enough food to eat and my family income is more than sufficient for our needs. I made more money tutoring a kid tonight than some people make in months.

I have the most beautiful little girl who has ever walked the earth. She is a constant source of magic in my life that I try not to ever take for granted. I have a beautiful wife who loves and supports me. We are best friends and I love her company. My family has never done anything but love me unconditionally. They call and are concerned by my daily angst. I have a group of friends who inspire and motivate me to be a better person. I talk to them often about books, education, and life.

I have access to state of the art cameras, video equipment, and computers to express myself and connect with the world. I have two guitars, which I love dearly, and two cats that I don’t give enough attention to. I generally love the world and am aware of the little things like the flowers blooming and being tossed by the sun and sand in my garden.

I have over six thousand songs on my iTunes that are a constant source of strength and courage for me. I have been offered a job next year here in Doha that will pay me more than I was making at my last job and allow me to work with K-5 kids. This will be very rewarding for me.

I will spend my summer in Malaysia swimming with my daughter, catching up with friends, going to movies, and relaxing. We will spend some time in Angkor Wat and Phuket. I will take many photos that will touch people who see them. I see the world in a unique way. We will become tan. My beard will grow. So I am not moving to Belgium or Japan. Maybe they are right- what is meant to happen will happen. Who am I to try and force anything else? Reality is just fine with me. Finally, I feel it…there it is, Peace.


  1. You have been through such a wringer this year. It has been painful to watch and read, even at a distance. I'm thrilled you've gotten and job, but even more thrilled that you are able to focus so clearly on the beautiful things in your life and in the world. They are what keep us all going. Hug your wife and your daughter, breathe deeply and best wishes...

  2. the reality is- you are you. you are evolving and changing and human- and you are you. if the folks who fired you aren't comfortable with that- it is their loss- not yours. you have a wonderful ability to touch people's lives and inspire them and your obvious joy at working with kids shows that. this may not be the path you would have chosen but can still prove to be full and rich- because it has all of the above mentioned people in it. namaste my friend :)

  3. ...and secondly, well, i'm just sitting here grinning from ear to ear... so happy to read these words of yours.