May 17, 2009

Try To Erase This

Jeremy was always one of my least favorite songs on Ten. Being the most commercial and over played songs, I felt it my duty to disregard the song “every knew.” For years, I didn’t even listen to it, and while I thought the video was one the most artistic to ever be played on MTV, the very fact that it was on MTV made it less Pearl Jam for me.

Pearl Jam - Jeremy (Official Music Video) - Watch a funny movie here

Jump 17 years…I have been having a hard time deciding on what to do for this project in regards to Jeremy, until I tapped into the main message of the song. I decide to write what I thought Jeremy actually said in class that day (along with raw emotions I have been dealing with ). I usually do not like to write when I am emotional, but I have been stewing in a reoccurring and bubbling emotional whirlpool these days, so I thought I would blast Jeremy over and over again and just type.

Jeremy spoke in class today:

There is anger in me.
A seething fury.
A black hole into which I disappeared long ago.
A furnace burning in my core, pulsating,
An effervescent abyss demanding self-destruction.
It is not important who planted this anger here or if I will rid myself of it,
Bred in hypocrisy, deceit, and empty disregard, it fuels me.
This anger.

Directed at everything, everyone:
Teacher, president, priest, businessman, weatherman, counselor, warden.
I am not the end of the line.
a mirror reflecting back every derelict decision
you have planted.
Nothing ends or starts here,
I am only the vehicle to recycle this ache.
Beware. It hurts.
Nothing disappears.
Did you think that it would?
That it could?

Fading fantasy everywhere. Buried in television sets.
Billboards. Monuments to disease.
Sprawling neighborhoods. Cancer. cul de sacs.
The world is rotting and I will rise above it by pulling you down.
Arms raised in a V
Smearing your face in it.
Anger in pools of maroon below.

No longer ignored.
Ridiculed. Rejected. Redundant. Reborn.

I was here. I am here. I was here.
I mattered.
I am gone except where I entered you.
There I grow...

… nothing changes.

The world goes on and I am gone.

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