But more than that it is a song about making amends, in particular with a father, and more exact than that, I see it as a song of atonement with my father. Throughout my life I have harbored a lot of resentment and toxic emotions about my dad. I have aired some of those thoughts here on my blog, and I may have inadvertently, and sometimes more consciously expressed my animosity to him directly. Well, I want to use this time, this place to say I am sorry.
I want to fold onto myself, inhale every once of oxygen made available to me and bellow from the bottom of my soul for the whole world to hear:
Oh, dear dad, can you see me now
I am myself, like you somehow
I'll ride the wave, where it takes meeeeeeeee...
I'll hold the pain, release me...
I no longer blame you for anything in my life. Instead I want to thank you. I see every part of you in the best parts of me. It sometimes feels like I see the world through our shared mind. I have spent so much time focusing on why or how I was broken, carrying around guilt and looking for fault, that I have forgotten the strength and passion you have given me.
I love you and this song is for you.
As always the past:
and the present: