May 7, 2011

Mother's Day

I spend most of my days thinking. Thinking about what to write, who to be, what to think. I can’t seem to turn it off, this voice in my head who examines, explores, and analyzes every thought, no matter how trivial, that dances into my mind. Today was no different. I spent most of the day drafting some profound, loving mother’s day post for my own mom, my wife and all the amazing women I know. Lines and phrases drifted in and out my head, only to be ushered out by a running nose and a rude sneeze. I have not been well. The post is a mess.

I am, bleary eyed with a headache, running nose and a comfortable numbness onset by a giant cup of Therflu, coupled with a batch of soft tunes with a nagging need to be babied by my mommy.

I have spent so much of my life trying to prove to her that I don’t need to be babied and that I can take care of myself. She planted the seed of independence in me early on, but then hovered over me to make sure I would grow. I don’t blame her. I spent so many years veering off track, that she must have been worried that I could ever find my way back. But now that I am on a recognizable course that is more aligned with what she must have imagined in our youth, I want her to now how much I appreciated her unconditional love and support. I am so grateful for her ability to let me find my own way. While I know she must have wanted to intervene in my life, she never did. Thank you mom.

There is so much more I want to write, and I did, but you should be grateful that I have been deleting it all. I am really too sick to be writing anything worthwhile. I just wanted to thank, not only my mom, but all moms in the world- especially my amazing wife for being there for us. Thank you for keeping us on time and well fed. Thank you for taking care of the important things: doctors appointments, bills, travel plans. Thanks for shouldering the responsibilities. Thank you for carrying the weight of the world and keeping us safe. Thank you for thinking of us before yourselves. Thank you for guiding and protecting us. Thank you for being our best teachers. Thank you for allowing us to be who we are.

Happy Mother’s day to my mom and my wife and every other amazing woman out there who is the anchor of their families. We love you ladies and it is a shame we only explicitly tell you one day of the year.

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