There is an inexhaustible, unbridled, uncomfortable amount of angst ridden rage in the cells of young men. Add to their pre-exisiting condition of undefined and unexplainable fury, a sense of victim-hood doused with alcohol and you'll have a good sense of my mood on many nights in the 1990s.
I was often spellbound in a trance throwing my body against the walls. Against the darkness. Against what ever was there. Which more often then not were nothing more than my own demons, invisible to those around me. The souls of young men are suspicious of enemies, seeking them out. Creating them even if they don't exist. Everyone seems to want a piece of them. I was no different
The older me scoffs at the pressures I felt I was under in 1993: Overly dramatic relationships, the demands of work, some kind of misconstrued expectations of what society wanted from me. Little did I know that I was actually the freest I would ever be. Very few people needed very little from me when I was nineteen. But that is not how I felt and the song Blood spoke to the part of me that felt torn apart.
This song is about the loss of freedom. The inability to be oneself because of the demands of others. For Vedder it was assault on the media, the fans, and the industry that had turned him into some kind of messiah, but for me it was about having to wear a tie when I went to work at the bank, or having to be there instead of here when people asked. I was sure who I was meant to be and for whom and for what reason. At the time, I felt that no matter how much I gave (which to be honest was very little) it was never enough. That no matter who I tried to be, it wasn't what the world wanted and I couldn't be myself.
This song is about our inability to be who other people want us to be. Feeling overwhelmed by the expectations of others is not unique to the young. Even today, Blood is a fitting anthem to the anger and frustration of being sucked dry.
Gone our days of red wine and broken furniture, but the hoarse throat screaming, assault of power chords, and funky wah-pedal riff are enough to keep the insatiable world at bay for a while longer.
I was often spellbound in a trance throwing my body against the walls. Against the darkness. Against what ever was there. Which more often then not were nothing more than my own demons, invisible to those around me. The souls of young men are suspicious of enemies, seeking them out. Creating them even if they don't exist. Everyone seems to want a piece of them. I was no different
The older me scoffs at the pressures I felt I was under in 1993: Overly dramatic relationships, the demands of work, some kind of misconstrued expectations of what society wanted from me. Little did I know that I was actually the freest I would ever be. Very few people needed very little from me when I was nineteen. But that is not how I felt and the song Blood spoke to the part of me that felt torn apart.
This song is about the loss of freedom. The inability to be oneself because of the demands of others. For Vedder it was assault on the media, the fans, and the industry that had turned him into some kind of messiah, but for me it was about having to wear a tie when I went to work at the bank, or having to be there instead of here when people asked. I was sure who I was meant to be and for whom and for what reason. At the time, I felt that no matter how much I gave (which to be honest was very little) it was never enough. That no matter who I tried to be, it wasn't what the world wanted and I couldn't be myself.
This song is about our inability to be who other people want us to be. Feeling overwhelmed by the expectations of others is not unique to the young. Even today, Blood is a fitting anthem to the anger and frustration of being sucked dry.
Gone our days of red wine and broken furniture, but the hoarse throat screaming, assault of power chords, and funky wah-pedal riff are enough to keep the insatiable world at bay for a while longer.
original image by AMagill
No comments:
Post a Comment