January 4, 2016

You Could Be

It was hard to get up this morning. No doubt. It is hard to write this now. No doubt. I am tired. The body and the mind need time to adjust from freedom to responsibility. And as teachers we jolt our bodies to extremes. One minute you are drinking a pitcher of Bloody Marys on a weekday morning, followed by some light reading and a nap, and the next thing you know, you are teaching three classes and creating a student facing checklist about reading non-fiction texts with your team after school.

Perhaps this is what so any teacher complain about- the shifting between extremes, because if you really think about, it is difficult to understand why any of us complain about doing a job, I am pretty sure, we love. Things could be so much worse. You could be working in some corporate office dealing with stuffy business types all day. You could be unemployed and trying to get your family into Europe. You could be working in a factory or a mine. You could be doing so many things, but really you get to hang out with kids all day and get them excited about the things that you are excited about.

So yeah, we had a nice break, yeah we are tried, yeah it was hard to get into the groove, but I for one am excited to get a group of 14 year olds excited about reading challenging texts.


I’ve never been to a funeral. I am 41 years old and I have never been to a ceremony to commemorate someone’s life who has recently passed. Your gut instinct is probably like mine, wow, so lucky, but underneath the surface I am nervous that I might not know how to deal with the death of someone who I love when I need to. I wait patiently, and yes I know this is morbid, for my first funeral.

A teacher from Canada who I never met, but knew through my network died of a heart attack this week. He was 37 years old. Many people in the Edtech world are mourning his loss. I remember him and am sure had exchanges with him.

But in the end, he was another avatar in a list of avatars that I scroll through everyday. Made me think, if that is who I am to  people- Another face. Another river of random thoughts and ideas and one day I will not be there either.

People will be sad and they will say a few nice things about me, but soon after they will get on with their lives and I, along with all my thoughts and ideas, hopes and dreams, my tweets and photos will disappear into the ether.

Another flickering pixel.

This might depress some of you, but I find it liberating. None of this really matters at all. All the words, the angst, the ennui, the joy, the grief, the anger….all of it. Poof. One day gone. I find that very peaceful actual.


When I brush my teeth in the morning, I have this weird gag reflex. I almost throw up every time I brush my teeth for more than 30 seconds. It’s a chore and I hate it. But when I brush my teeth at night, it is gone and I love brushing my teeth.


Running today helped get rid of this weird lingering pain I had in my chest cavity from my scooter fall. I think I am going  to be okay. I ran 8km. I like the way my body feels after a run. Taught and sweaty. I have rarely in my life felt comfortable in my body. It has always been too skinny, too….just not right. Who knew that at 41 it would start to fit.

Lesson Learned:
  • You are not that important and you are going to die. People will get over it.
  • You can whine about petty shit, but don’t over-do the complaining, you are probably pretty lucky.
  • If you take care of your body, it will feel better.
  • Freedom from responsibility makes people happy. 

What jobs would you hate to have?
Thoughts on death?
What act of personal hygiene do you dislike doing?

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