I’ve been putting off the writing of this post for over an hour. Stuck in a pool of Youtube videos and mindless relaxation, tonight’s post feels like a chore. Full day at school, a drive across the Island for Kaia’s touch game and some marking after dinner have left me zombified and brain dead. What the hell can I write about? Trying to keep a lid on the political stuff makes it that much harder as well, because let’s face it, it can be easier to rant and rage and lash out with anger and hatred than to sit down and try to carve out a little something pretty.
On night’s like this the big topics feel too heavy to lift, and the other things feel trivial. Who cares that I added sprouts to my Tofurky sandwich and that made all the difference? Or that I have been drinking two litres of water everyday at school. No one could possibly care that i am nervous that my bruised toenail is about to fall off and I am not sure if my pain threshold can handle what happens next. Would anyone care that I can’t seem to make time to listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album or that I am very excited about the new Ben Harper album out in a few weeks- his first with The Innocent Criminals in nine years. Does anyone want to read that I finally replaced my Capo- which allows me to play a bunch of songs I haven’t been playing in a while, and as a result I will try and set up an open mic date in April? How do you punctuate a sentence that starts as a question, but ends more like a statement? Is it worth noting that my hair is growing in silver?
Maybe on nights like this, in the midst of the Ides of March, I’m lucky to crank out a short riff and move on. Grab a glass of wine, some chili dark chocolate and fall into bed ready to watch The Walking Dead followed by a dash of Sylvia Plath.
In the end, as I lay on my death bed and wait for the eternal goodbye, I hope it is nights like this I remember. The ones when nothing exciting happened, but I was alert enough to recognize my life as it passed by- Tuesday night after Tuesday night.
On night’s like this the big topics feel too heavy to lift, and the other things feel trivial. Who cares that I added sprouts to my Tofurky sandwich and that made all the difference? Or that I have been drinking two litres of water everyday at school. No one could possibly care that i am nervous that my bruised toenail is about to fall off and I am not sure if my pain threshold can handle what happens next. Would anyone care that I can’t seem to make time to listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album or that I am very excited about the new Ben Harper album out in a few weeks- his first with The Innocent Criminals in nine years. Does anyone want to read that I finally replaced my Capo- which allows me to play a bunch of songs I haven’t been playing in a while, and as a result I will try and set up an open mic date in April? How do you punctuate a sentence that starts as a question, but ends more like a statement? Is it worth noting that my hair is growing in silver?
Maybe on nights like this, in the midst of the Ides of March, I’m lucky to crank out a short riff and move on. Grab a glass of wine, some chili dark chocolate and fall into bed ready to watch The Walking Dead followed by a dash of Sylvia Plath.
In the end, as I lay on my death bed and wait for the eternal goodbye, I hope it is nights like this I remember. The ones when nothing exciting happened, but I was alert enough to recognize my life as it passed by- Tuesday night after Tuesday night.
This post gave me some strength, some connection to our humanity. Lovely. Thanks.
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