May 14, 2016


It rained hard today and the rooms were dark with storm which created a velvety womb of calm and fatigue. I am not used to staying up till 4am, but thankfully the effects of last night were not debilitating. I was weak and vulnerable. My head throbbed and my fuse was short, but I was up and about for the most part. Thank goodness little was expected of me.

Took the girls to basket ball. Spent time lounging in the dark rained-filled room. Dinner out and then Mairin and I went to see Bad Neighbors 2. I liked the dumb humor of the first one and this movie did the trick again. A few cheap laughs and a hook on which to hang my tired brain.

Now the house is quiet and everyone is asleep.

I am ready too. Because despite the crazy headlines I have been ingesting in the last half hour, my mind is all but blank and empty. Even these words feel vacant and pointless. Like I am blurting them out with no intention of seeing where they land. I close my eyes and hope that a sentence might form, or I can close the machine and surrender to sleep.

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