266/365

i grabbed the book he gave me
looking for wisdom.
flipping and sniffing the pages
like i always do to get a whiff of the tree spirit
lodged in the thin pages. olfactory triggers:
choose your own adventure books and mad magazine.
our roots are mired in the strangest of places.

the distance between vision and reality
obfuscated by the distractions they’ve trained
us to believe necessary.

i’m sitting with the weight of ceremony,
forgotten how to re-enage with the vehicle
of belonging. allowing the pace and pressure
of their systems dictate how we connect,
how we communicate. how we might live
near each other when so far apart.  

she told me that the content is in the people
when i asked how not to choke
on what i have bitten off.
is there an answer you need answered?
i shook my head, unsure how to respond.

what are ceremonies that magnify life?
how do i turn attention to intention?
how do i release myself
from the dominant culture’s clutches?
how do i unlearn hurrying,
celebrate joy?
where might i feel indigenous?

i have always been awash in longing-
what kind of leader does that make me?