313/365

i’m a terrible gift giver
and i can’t give compliments
because i find them insincere
when received. nothing i do
can be good enough to warrant you
telling me about it, but let’s cut
the crap i’ll take the applause
as long as you don’t make it weird.
i want to care about people more
and find ways to show them, but it’s
always too late, two steps behind, too busy
thinking of myself. thank you for
sharing. that was nice. i heard myself
say to a teacher in a group of teachers today,
felt awkward and sticky crawling from my throat.
it’s magnificent how many ways we become damaged.
one day i’ll get you the perfect gift or write
a sweet poem and you can tell me how nice it makes you feel.