May 27, 2011

Just Put It Down

It’s 8pm Friday night. It feels like midnight. The girls are both asleep; the house is warm. Quiet. I am listening to my current favorite artist. His voice is literally massaging an unnameable place in my soul. What’s that? Using the word soul is too wishy washy and hyperbolic, perhaps, but that is where these songs are playing tonight. Don’t believe me? Close your eyes and play this song to yourself. Then let some words trickle from your ________ and drip onto the paper.

Today was crazy. Won't get into the details, but I juggled equal parts fear, paranoia, frustration, and apprehension. All-in-all it was not a pleasant way to pass my time.  My mind is still mired in this uncomfortable rut, hence the music and the words. Using this space and these words to clear my head. I need to hear a guitar strum and watch my fingers turn angst into…whatever you want to call this: confession, advice, meditation, prayer, poetry?

There is a list of more pressing things I feel I should be writing about- but sometimes it is okay to just put things on hold, ignore them, forget about them and tend to where it hurts. Sometimes it is okay to not focus so much on the intellectual and allow some room for the spiritual. It has to be okay. This is what I tell myself to avoid burning out, and I offer the advice to you for free. Next time you feel the world is to heavy for you to shoulder, just put it down.

Three paragraphs in and I feel better already. Next I will grab the guitar and gently sing some songs to myself, careful not to stir the sleeping house. Then I'll crawl into bed and lose myself in a book. I am warm and safe and nothing there is nothing happening that can’t be solved sometime in a vague future. There is no sense of urgency for the events of today. I’ll let them simmer and shed their skin of substance, till I am more in the right mind to tend to their needs.

Perhaps this is the wisdom they say comes with age- the ability to know when to let life sit a bit. Close your eyes, enjoy each breath and feel the power of being alive. The awareness that the only thing we have any control over is the present moment, and that hold is tenuous at best, can be very comforting.

I hope these words help anyone who came across them in what ever timezone you find yourself. No matter want mood you find yourself a sense of calm and gratitude can be very powerful. I hear my guitar calling…thanks for listening.

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