September 23, 2011

I Need To

My life has boarded the fast train, but I am still standing on the dock. I can see the cars fly by, but I am motionless. I need to walk in the rain and rub mud through my hair. I need to watch the steam rise from the earth only to return seconds later as a storm. I need to watch our orange cousins cling to the last traces of their homes. I need to watch them move slowly amongst the trees and watch for lessons in my folly. I need to see the wisdom in their eyes.

I need to talk to kids about watching insects and digging for poems beneath the foliage. I need to ride a boat, a bus, a river. I need to jump from a height that impregnates me with the fear I cherish. I need to watch the stars and forget and remember. I need to eat rice, walk in damp socks and not shower. I need to disconnect and disappear. I need to go primal and scribble in a journal. I need to. I need to. I need to.

Time near a fire, a guitar in hand, a jungle is what I need...

I am taking 45 ninth graders to Bukit Lawang on Sumatra island for a week without walls trip. We will trek, look at apes, and do many of the things I mentioned above.

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