January 17, 2016

The Cracks Appear And Let You In

The R.E.M song in the car tonight took me back to the little Jones Street apartment and the days before Mozambique. Taking the trolley to SFSU, compiling my finally credits, writing shitty plays that no one would ever read about cliche characters on  Greyhound buses traveling nowhere, working at Kulletos and Pier 23. It was a time when I had crawled my way out of the darkness and the broken glass tables and nights of madness.

We bought furniture and cooked meals, smoked cigarettes on the little fire escape as San Francisco churned below us.

Graduation was months away, followed by a the long road and the unknown-  NYC and the dark continent just beyond reach in October.

It’s crazy how relationships that felt so real, fade and dissolve into fragmented memories we access at random times in cars years later in the future. Missing you tonight Cortney​.

So many of you, linger in those dark corners, leaking into my consciousness when the musics makes the cracks appear and let you in.


It rained for most of the day and besides getting lunch and going out to dinner, nothing felt urgent enough to warrant much attention.


I chatted with my mom in the morning, and she told me how tired she is working in the kitchen at the Tassajara Zen Center. But also how much she loves it.

It makes me happy that she is where she has wanted to be for years. She is now on staff at the Zen Center and living her dream and on her path- studying to be a Buddhist priest. I can’t wait to see her this summer and for the girls to see her in her element.

Lessons Learned:

  • Be careful of the emotional charge music can carry. 
  • It might take a life time, but at some point you can live your dream. 
  • Not everyday needs a lesson

  1. Tell the story of a song and here it takes you. 
  2. What’s something you end up doing before you die? 

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