March 9, 2016

Novels Written or Marathons Run

Laziness is easy.
Procrastination even easier.

Not doing a thing when the alternative is the doing of things, can be so attractive sometimes. Of course we justify this inertia by calling it by a different name: a much needed rest or taking a break, but when you establish a routine, taking even one night off can riddle you with guilt. But oh it feels so good. Even the guilt feels earned and scrumptious.

Got home late tonight because we had parent teacher conferences for our kids. Happy to report they are both doing well and seem well-adjusted. The two comments of note were that apparently Skye loves music and has no problem singing in front of anyone who will listen, and Kaia’s PE teacher said that she is a good role model for other girls and a potential Alpha-Female. Which was surprising and present to hear.

So we got home later than usual and I didn’t have time to go for a run. I could have gone later after the kids fell asleep, or even gone with Mairin to Bedok and ran the reservoir, but I chose to take a break tonight instead.

I could have used the time to return to the novel, seeing that it has been on hold since Kenya, but as the logic goes, I might as well use this time as a much needed rest. I could get started on it next Monday.

While the pleasure of a night to just scrape together this post, read random things on the internet and watch The Walking Dead feels perfect, I know enough to realise that this behaviour will not get me ready to run a half-marathon any time soon, and the novel will linger in perpetual draft mode at 38,000 words. Way passed goal deadlines.

“Why don’t you at least use this time to catch up on emails?”
But I’m on a break night.

“Do some reading at least? Come on. You can’t just sit here writing this drivel and read about how Kim Kardashian is or is not a proper feminist.”
But my mind needs mindless mush and a much needed rest.

“So you are not even gonna try a meaningful vignette here and now?”
Rest. Break.

Not having goals and being lazy is easy, but then there are no novels written or marathons run.

Giving up. Grabbing the guitar.

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