April 5, 2016

Grey Would Be The Color If I Had A Heart.

Do you ever think that you are at the tail end of a song or an album. Like every song is directed at you? Imagine that at some point, someone, maybe an ex-boy friend for girl friend is screaming the lyrics of a song at you.

They might be driving on a San Diego highway after a shift valeting cars down at Rainwater and they are so in love with you and they think about you so much more than you think about them and the words are the only thing that keep them sane as they drive home in the darkness of the sinking sun:

Just when everything was making sense.
You took away all my self-confidence.
Now all that I've been hearing must be true.
I guess I'm not the only boy for you.

Can you here it? You are screaming your lungs out. You are alone and the car is loud and the lights are low. You think about about crashing the car into upcoming traffic. Nothing makes sense, but the purity of your love. Older people will scoff at your passion and say you are in a phase, but you know that this is as pure as love will ever get. She sent you a letter saying that maybe she is over you and you scream and slam the steering wheel:

Nothing quite like the feel of something new.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up in you.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up in you.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
This is the only time I really feel alive.
This is the only time I really feel alive.

Years later, you will hear the same songs and the same words and you will discredit the love you felt, but you will know that never again in your life did you feel love withso this purity. With this intensity.

Wisdom will never trump youth. Security will never surpass love. Peace will never calm rage. You are an electrical current and you will always remember the night when you drove through San Diego banging on that steering wheel so in love and so empty and so broken and ready to tear the world apart-

Nothing quite like the feel of something new.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up in you.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
Maybe I'm all messed up in you.
Maybe I'm all messed up.
This is the only time I really feel alive.
This is the only time I really feel alive.

There was a night when I loved you too much. I drove for hours with this album surrounding me and today for some reason, I wanted to hear it and be back there with that emptiness. Your love was still there, but the expectation was real.

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.

Anyway….I drove around town today thinking of you and the past and that night and those months and that love and that darkness and that passion and that album. Which was perfect and pure and just what we both needed.



I do not know what else to say other than that Pretty Hate Machine is one of the best albums of all time. Put it on now and think about who ever it reminds you of.

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