September 16, 2016

A Fulfilled Promise

After a relatively uneventful day at school, I shredded and I burned with some people from school. I was tired. I had a head ache and was not in the mood; I would have preferred a drink in the lounge, but I changed my clothes and did my sets of “plank-jacks.” My groin now hurts something fierce, but I’m glad I did it. I need some kind of routine back in my life. I have to start running next week, please hold me accountable. I am signing up for a half marathon in December and I can barely run six km at this point.

After the exercise, Kaia and I decided to have a daddy Kaia date and we made our way to Universal Studios. Thanks to all your wonderful advice we had a great conversation. I did some apologizing about how I might have reacted and we just chatted like two human beings. It was a beautiful thing.

I also felt a bit weird sharing so much information about her on Facebook, especially since so many of my friends know her and are her teachers and stuff, so I told her what I had done and asked her what she thought. She said that this story wasn't too personal and she wasn’t embarrassed by it, and that she was over it anyway, and that it was fine to share.

I mentioned that the reason I like to share her stories with my friends is because you are all amazing parents and teachers and human beings and sometimes it is nice to get other people’s advice. She seemed to understand that it takes a village and that maybe you can help her too.

I mentioned that we write and share stories because we want to engage with the world and normalise the things that we might feel should be private, because it is in that privacy that we dwell in shame. And for most things, there is nothing to be ashamed about. e are human, like so many other humans.

She said that she will trust me not to post anything that might make her feel bad if people knew. I asked her how I would know where the line is and she said that she trusts me. I told her that next time I might run things by her first and she said that was a good idea. “If you think it might upset me than just show it to me first.”

We thought Universal was open till seven, but it is only open till six, so we only got one ride on the blue roller coaster, but it was worth looking over and seeing her hair wild, face a glow in the evening sun and screaming like fulfilled promise.

We had a a quiet dinner just the two of us and polished it off with donuts and candy. On the way home we listen to some shared tunes and now home and exhausted.

At one point after our talk in the car, when we first arrived, I held her close and said that no matter how I might mess things up, or say the wrong thing, or make her feel bad, that I am doing it all out of love. I told her that I can’t imagine loving someone more than I love her and I always will, no matter what.

It felt pretty good to hold my girl and say these things to her. It felt better than anything else has in a few weeks.

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