November 29, 2016

Long and Grey and Uneventful

Yesterday felt like a step, a hobbled one perhaps, but a step nonetheless in the right direction. I was feeling hopeful and ready to put the month of November and most of 2016 behind me.

Today? Not so much.

I never bathed. Never got out of my pyjamas. Woke up in a state of confusion well after 10am. Gave up quickly after trying to mark a few grade 6 stories. I got lost in the Twitter Trump-pit. (The dude is now RTing from the accounts of 16 year olds, and showing off his new hat.)

How are we going to survive as a nation without all wanting to tear our eyeballs out every few hours? The ugly American is real, he is everywhere and he is in charge of some pretty important shit.

I let it all get me down.
I tried to turn of the noise and focus on Bojack Horseman, but that only carried me so far.
The day was long and grey and uneventful. My ankle was throbbing, but I forced it to walk around the house a few times in silence.

I felt a heavy dense sense of shame and uselessness when Mairin and the kids got home. Is this what they mean when they say rest is good for you? Because I am ready to be back in the swing of things.

I am sorry for saying that I was tired.
I just want to be at the meetings and planning the lessons and shooting the shit at lunch time. I want to see the smiling faces of kids as I teach them things they could care less about.

Tomorrow is another day. Some big things happening: I will shave. I will shower and actually put on “outside” clothes. I will take a cab to the hospital and hopefully get the okay from the doctor for more mobility.

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