July 29, 2021

210/365

two all nighters
learning about brave spaces
diversity, equity and inclusion
have left me disoriented
and cotton headed.

spent time with friends
on their deck
eating cheese and cake,
drinking wine
and complaining about
the pandemic and
feeling hopeful about
the future.

these days
aren’t miraculous,
fun or even memorable,
but we share cooking tips
and how we spend our hours.
they are the lives
we’re forced to live and that’s
all we can really do.

July 28, 2021

209/365

i’ve unlearned where to plant my allegiance,
carry it around like a bloated corpse,
heavy and putrid, sniffing for the ground.

bags of rotting seeds, every one
tossing their opinions at each other,
blindfolded, hands over ears
spewing entitled nonsense.

red faced toddlers screaming
at the walls closing in.
prisoners in a perpetual fit of pique.
too busy taking umbrage
to ignore. stay quiet. listen.
find sympathy. birth empathy.
say, “i don’t know.”
this is not my battle,
my position irrelevant.

they wanted us all to have a voice
but didn’t warn of the tedious tumult.
the unbearable racket every time
we disappear into these evasive screens.

none of it will satiate
this wildly growing hunger.
how are we meant to be sustained
in the futility of factlessness?  

i’ve unlearned where to plant my allegiance,
carry it around in a satchel of dandelion forets,
wanting to be blown to oblivion.

July 27, 2021

208/365

if there are so many ways to be better
why do we spend lifetimes mired in the
potential of books and prophecies-
the road maps are not difficult to read,
the where, the how, even the why
have been clear in
every era
every language.

being the change is easier said than done
looking in the mirror draped
in guilt and shame and disappointment
and promise to do better next time.  

but what use is there of this self flagellation?
sitting alone on this tuesday night
shaking the can to see what might fall out.
can else inflict do I repent or change,
though chang'd in outward lustre; that fixt mind.

lost indeed,
paradise
has always been
in the errors
and attempts.