Weirdly Self-Assured

We’ve been talking about albums in the car as we drive around this weekend. Mairin has been at the Google Summit, so that means there is some really loud music playing, air drums and guitar on the steering wheel, and singing going on as we traverse the island.


“Back in my day, artists put out albums. There was no Spotify or Youtube, so you could pick and choose random songs. You bought the album and listened to it as if it were one complete piece of art. You paid attention to the opening song. The last rack. The pacing of tempo from song to song. So we are not gonna hit shuffle on the Family Car playlist today, we are going to listen to an album from start to finish. This album is called Vs by Pearl Jam and the first song is called Go.”


We proceeded to listen to most of it at top volume for the rest of the day.


Later, we explored Ben Harper’s Fight For Your Mind.


“Do you know what oppression means? It is when one group of people holds another group of people down and doesn’t let them do what they want. Or they take their freedom.”


“Why would anyone want to do that?”


“That’s a really good question. Some people are just ignorant or scared or racist or all of those things and they can’t stand to see everyone happy and free. Anyway, that is what this song is about.”


We drove. We listened We went to sewing class and basketball. We picked up mommy from SAS. Twice!


After a nap of the dead, staying up till 3am is not okay for this aging body, Kaia and I were lounging on the couch when she asked if we could watch Lemonade by Beyonce. I had mentioned that I wanted her to see it, so I said okay and we watched.


It was weird and uncomfortable but in the best way. I so wanted to know what she was thinking as she saw the images, heard the poetry and listened to the songs. We listen to the album a lot in the car, so we are all well-versed with the lyrics and the themes, but to watch Beyonce takes things to a whole other level. She is so empowered and beautiful and amazing. So to watch Kaia watch her was a treat. There is nothing that is explicit or -obscenely sexual, so that was okay. There is some language, but we are always talking about the beauty of “bad” language and how it is not actually bad if you know when and how to use it. Skye was a bit shocked after the first few F-bombs, but we all got over it.


There is so much texture and richness in that film. The make up, costumes, dancing, music.


It is so exciting to share music and art with your kids. Expose them to it all and let their brains marinate in it. Soak it up. Be molded by it. I love High School Music, Tay Tay, and Kidz Bops as much as the next guy, but you gotta balance that out with some Perl Jam, Ben Harper and Queen Bey. I really we wish we had a record player so they could get the whole experience of losing yourself in an album.


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In other news, I finally signed up for The Standard Charter Half Marathon. Last time around I swore to myself around kilometer 18 that I would never do that again, but here I am doing it. I am so behind on my training that it feels like I am starting over, but tomorrow it’s go times. Back to the routine. One step after another.


This week I will plan and organize my talk and workshop for Leaning 2 in Saigon in a few weeks. Lots of big ideas and broad brush stroke thinking going on, but time to pin it down and give it flesh.


My new profile pic epitomizes where I am right now. Looks a bit scared and tried but happy and excited. Confident but vulnerable. Worried but weirdly self-assured.

Like Starting Over

I don’t remember the last time I ran or worked on my novel. None of this is good. I have a list of excuses: it was the holidays, I was in Thailand, I had lots of marking to do, I needed a break, I am off to Manila tomorrow, first day back at school…will get started again on Monday. Next Monday. I will I promise. I have to.

It will be like starting over. My muscles have already forgotten the joy of it and my characters have been left abandon in dark closets like ignored puppets tangled in their strings. There’s guilt for sure, but it is not too nagging yet. I will start again on Monday. Next Monday. I promise.

So yeah. Back to work today after a two week break. Things were good. Kids were alert. I started a few new units and just finished all six classes worth of marking I had lingering over my head. And just as we get into the swing of things for the last term and the final ten weeks…I am off to a conference in the Philippines tomorrow night. The timing is not the best, but I am always excited to go to a city/country I have never been to. And traveling on your own, shhhh don’t tell Mairin, is pretty great. Quiet airports. Your own hotel room, I better stop and switch gears.

I have been reading my Time Hop updates lately and it is crazy how every year, it feels like every few weeks it says something like: Getting ready to go to Kenya. Just got back from Paris. Headed to Chiang Mai tomorrow. Just got back from Vietnam. I feel grateful to be able to travel so much for work and work with kids and other teachers while teaching and leaning in so many environments, but more importantly I am thankful that Mairin is so supportive and understanding and holds down the fort when I travel. I know it is not easy to run the household alone, and the fact that she does it so many times a year demands a public declaration of gratitude. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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In other random news, I was excited to hear that Ice Cube basically told Gene Simmons to shut the hell up about the state of hip hop as they were inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame.

Pearl Jam kicked off a spring/summer tour. I am already checking in on their nightly set lists and following their shenanigans.

The new Ben Harper album is not blowing my socks off, but I am being patient with it. There are a few gems on the first few listens.

Apparently it is un-islamic to have a mohawk in Saudi Arabia. Who knew?

Trump has been pretty quiet lately. I guess when he loses he doesn’t have much to say. I am hoping he is thinking up something crazy to spring on us before New York.

And that’s about it.

Got an episode of Girls and the series finale of Togetherness on deck for tonight. Feeling a bit relaxed knowing I have no more making to do for a while. I am pretending like the cover plans will be easy to write and I can get them done tomorrow at school.

How was your first day back at work? If I didn't see you, take a sec and share a quip.

The Coat or Nothing About Nothing

I think it was the second time I was in New York that we actually bought it. I say second time because there are several times and eras that I experienced New York City. The first one was a random trip sometime in 1998. I was twenty-four years old and it was my first time.

I was struggling to stay sane living at the Natoma house with Ant, Chris​ and Justin​. I think they wanted to kick me out because I was having a hard time controlling my rage. I couldn’t seem to get Jane’s Addiction out of from under my skin. I was being more cruel to Cortney​ than usual. I was a selfish prick. I was breaking things on a nightly basis and so desperate for attention and change that I somehow found myself in New York city and Ari​’s weird Lexington apartment.

I can’t remember how I was able to get myself there, but I remember showing up one morning and there was an entire universe to explore. That trip I walked from the Upper East Side down to Battery Park and up into the crown of the Statue of Liberty. I walked everywhere and one morning as I was getting ready to go home, Greta​ happened to be under the covers. It was a blur of wine and late nights. It was an awakening for me. I came home to write some terrible poetry about New York. It felt as if I as the only person who had ever felt the electricity of the place.

I didn’t know nothing about nothing.

I went back home to San Francisco. Got kicked out of my apartment. They had had enough. I walked the streets looking for a place to loved. Somehow I convinced Cort to move in with me. I studied and worked hard. Got into Peace Corps and was ready to flee the coup. But I wouldn’t leave the USA until October. I had one more summer back in NYC. That was my second time in NYC and that’s when we bought it.

We were down below fourteenth street, Ari and I. I was still green and unawares of what any of the madness meant. I thought it was all cool and hip and bohemian and I was the in the center of it all. Looking back,I know it was some cheesy tourist trap on the outskirts of the East Village. But that’s where we saw it.

The coat. Black. Shiny. $80.

Up to that point, I had never spent that much money on any one piece of clothing . All my clothes were old Goodwill hand me downs. The thought of spending $80 dollars in a jacket was more extravagant than I could handle. But Ari talked me into it and I bought the thing.

It was magic.

Everywhere we went people complimented me on it. Men. Women. Boys and Girls. I felt like a rock star in that thing- drunk at the Cherry Tavern drinking Tecates and Tequila shots listening to whatever the hell they had on that Jukebox. Free NYC nights and me in the coat.

I have no idea what happened to it, but to this day that thing symbolised my introduction to NYC. I was young and free and hip and cool and going places. That jacket allowed me to have my quintessential Big Apple experience.

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My last class on Friday afternoon is a tough one. They are seventh graders and they often show up late because they have PE right before my class. They talk a lot and do not take my authority too seriously. They’re a fun group and it is hard to stay mad at them. I had to lay down the law a bit yesterday. I mentioned that I am not an authoritarian teacher at all, but common decency and respect demand that they focus when I ask and relax when we have earned it.

Today, they worked their butts off for over an hour, so I let them end early and we played Mafia and let off some steam for the last ten minutes of class.

The thing about teaching is that you don’t need to be the “cool” teacher by being a push over. You earn respect by demanding hard work, but you also understand that the people you are dealing with every day are human beings. They are children but you need to earn their respect too.

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Wait? Now people can do more than like this stuff? The pressure to be loved and not just liked is a challenge I have been up for my whole life.

Light whiskey buzz and Ben Harper in the darkness makes anything seem possible.

Wednesday Day Jam V

Last week I jammed a bit with Joe again, but this week he was a no show. So I recorded a few songs. Nine Inch Nails, Ben Harper and some John Lennon

Wednesday (Monday) Day Jam IV

I have a meeting this Wednesday night, so I had to make my jam session earlier in the week. Which felt weird cuz I was a bit sick and not in the best mood. I was about to forget about it, but decided if playing and singing wouldn't make me feel better than nothing would.

I started with an old Ben Harper favorite:

Messed with this ole Beatles (Eddie Vedder favorite) classic:

The volume on this next one is a bit off, but this is one of my favorite Tom Waits songs. Like the electric arrangement and hope to mess with this song more in the future:

Finally, my night would not be complete without some Dylan. I am loving his entire catalog.A slow ballad with Tomorrow Is Such A Long Time: