But The Ticket Take The Ride

The morning began in grey and clouds and exhaustion. I was thinking of next week- no more report card comments cramping my style, pay-day, maybe some new shoes, a midweek movie, a Friday night out with drinks and the ease of a job completed.

After a week in Kenya followed by a week of report writing, a normal week at work feels like a holiday. That can't be right.

I woke up early and started on the reports first thing in the morning. Ben Harper sang on Spotify and both my kids sat around reading while I worked. That is until they got bored and started fighting, arguing and screaming.

I was a terrible dad. Instead of trying to help them or guide them, I just yelled too:

• “Can you two just go in your rooms and find something else to do! 
• I need to finish these reports. I can’t have you out here making so much noise. 
• I don’t care if your bored, just find something to do. 
• I said no TV or screen time. (Why I didn’t just put in a movie I don’t know? I will tomorrow morning for sure.) 
• If you are going to be so mean to your sister and throw a tantrum every time you get frustrated than just go to time-out for ten minutes."

I wasn’t even looking at them. Just head in the screen typing away about reading habits and developing writing skills. It was not a pretty sight. I took a great shot of Skye, but if that gave the false impression of a morning of peace at our house, then I am here to confess that I was a mean bastard and not a very good parent this morning. What makes it worse, I never apologized to the girls. I will wait to finish this cursed work and make it up to them next week.

…

Time hop told me that today is the day Hunter S. Thompson died. Well, he didn’t just die, he actually shot himself, nevertheless this is the day that he left us, and although I have written about him several times on my blog, I feel it is necessary to at least scribble a few more words here and now. Perhaps looking at Hunter as a man and a father and a writer, as a forty year old father and aspiring feminist myself, I might see him differently than I did so many years ago, but it is important to remember why our heroes were our heroes when we were young.

From the time I was seventeen till I was about thirty, HST was the epitome of who I wanted to be as a person. He was a god to all us reckless, misguided adventurers and wanna be writers. A symbol of pure freedom. Hunter did whatever the hell he wanted and for mere mortals like us living in the cages of society he was a true outlaw and someone to be admired. There is so much more to say about his influence on my life, but now is not the time to do it justice.

When we get a tattoo, we run the risk of regretting it as we age. But even at my age , I look fondly at the fist tattoo that is his symbol tattoo on my sternum. I remember the day I stumbled into a Haight Street tattoo shop and had it inked on my chest. I remember feeling the buzz of the needle in my toes and my finger tips. I remember thinking that no matter who I became and no matter what I ended up doing, I would always cherish the spirit of rebellion and freedom. I would always aspire to be myself-whoever that person happened to be at the time. I promised myself that I would always champion the underdog and fight the status quo. I would always say yes when a choice was offered and that I would live my life as if it could end tomorrow. I would seek out adventure and push myself beyond any limits that others might put in my way.

I am not sure if I have lived up to these lofty goals, but I can say that in my heart, I am still trying. I love Hunter S. Thompson and everything he stood for and I am grateful that I encountered his work when I did. He shaped the man I am today, probably more than any other person in my life and that has to mean something.

…

I want to say more, but the words have dried up.

The Edge

"The edge. There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over"
— Hunter S. Thompson

 

Make a photograph of something old. Be sure to show us the character that age can give a subject.  

The Gonzo Tapes II

We are on the eve of the release of The Gonzo Tapes: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, and the nice people at The Shout Factory, have asked if I could help them promote the release of these tapes.

I have pre-ordered my box set and wait patiently for the voice of that lunatic saint to make its way over to this god-forsaken desert and muster me from my slumber. Uncle Hunter, I need you now more than ever. Not usually one to push products, but The Shout Factory seems like the real deal, and all they asked me to do it publish their press release.

They also sent me this link to a live stream, but Windows equipment is not playing nice with my Mac. Maybe you will have better luck getting a sneak peak. Looking forward to writing much more on the tapes once I hear them.

The Gonzo Tapes:
The Life And Work Of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Featuring original cover artwork by Ralph Steadman, an introduction by
Academy Award®-winning director Alex Gibney, an essay by Loren Jenkins,
and notes and production by Don Fleming

In Stores October 28

Shout! Factory will make available the previously unreleased Gonzo Tapes in a newly produced collection titled The Gonzo Tapes: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, in concurrence with the Magnolia Pictures film release of Gonzo: The Life And Work Of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, directed by Academy Award®-winning director Alex Gibney.

Legendary Gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson knew from the beginning of his career that he would one day be famous and so became a dedicated archivist of his own writing, saving copies of all his correspondence including personal letters, drafts for magazines and books, angry letters to his editors, and even notes written on cocktail napkins. But most important to Thompson was his tape recorder, which allowed him to document his experiences as a participant rather than an observer, often setting it down in a bar or hotel room to pick up the mood and conversation, or to record what it was like spending days speeding down highways with the Hell’s Angels.

Recorded by Thompson between 1965 and 1975, these tapes capture his thoughts and descriptions both as they’re happening and in reflection, as he would often go back to rerecord commentary. Filmmaker Alex Gibney, producer Eva Orner and Gonzo archivist Don Fleming were given permission by Thompson’s widow to explore the boxes of tapes stored in the basement of his Owl Farm home in Woody Creek, Colorado, left behind after Thompson’s suicide in 2005. Fleming transferred the audiocassettes and reel-to-reel tapes to digital files, and they made their way to the cutting room for the film Gonzo: The Life And Work Of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.

Gibney, the producer/writer/director of the film who also made “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room,” and “Taxi to the Dark Side,” writes in his introduction to The Gonzo Tapes, “These tapes were pure gold, lending an intimacy to the film that it couldn’t have had otherwise.” As Loren Jenkins writes in the notes that accompany The Gonzo Tapes, “The idea that these tapes will now be made available to the public to help reveal some of what went on behind the Gonzo screeds is something I believe Hunter would delight in if he were still alive today.”

The Gonzo Tapes features original cover artwork by Gonzo artist Ralph Steadman, an introduction by film director Alex Gibney, an essay by journalist and Thompson’s fellow foreign correspondent Loren Jenkins, and notes by The Gonzo Tapes producer Don Fleming, former front man of the Velvet Monkeys and Gumball who has produced Sonic Youth, Alice Cooper, Hole, and more.

Disc 1 of the 5-CD set is titled “Hell’s Angels,” and includes Thompson’s notes from a year of riding with the infamous biker gang, an unprecedented feat from which Thompson made a name for himself and which famously became a book. Discs 2 and 3 contain the notes that materialized as his well-known novel Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, and eventually of course a major motion picture.

Disc 4, titled “Gonzo Gridlock 1973–1974,” captures Thompson in the years following the completion of his book Fear And Loathing: On The Campaign Trail ’72,  recording his thoughts for a new novel, drafts of a never published Rolling Stone story involving Fear and Loathing cohort Oscar Acosta, a cocaine-fueled never-written assignment from Rolling Stone on a book titled Cocaine Papers: Sigmund Freud, as well as notes and an argument with Ralph Steadman during a 1974 trip to Zaire where he was to report on the legendary “Rumble In The Jungle” between George Foreman and Muhammad Ali for Rolling Stone, and which he skipped for a swim in the hotel pool.

Disc 5, titled “Fear and Loathing in Saigon,” finds Thompson traveling to Vietnam just days before the fall of Saigon in 1975, where, armed with a cooler of beer and wearing Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, he rode to the front line and observed the final major combat action of the war. The day before Saigon fell Thompson left for Laos to work on a story he had in mind about CIA concentration camps.

Shout! Factory is a diversified entertainment company devoted to producing, uncovering and revitalizing the very best of pop culture – The Stuff You Grew Up On But Never Outgrew.  Founders Richard Foos, Bob Emmer and Garson Foos have spent their careers sharing their music, television and film faves with discerning consumers the world over. Shout! Factory’s DVD offerings serve up classic, contemporary and cult TV series, riveting sports programs, live music, animation and documentaries in lavish packages crammed with extras. The company’s audio catalogue boasts Grammy®-nominated boxed sets, new releases from storied artists and lovingly assembled album reissues. These riches are the result of a creative acquisitions mandate that has established the company as a hotbed of cultural preservation and commercial reinvention.  For more on Shout! Factory, visit www.shoutfactory.com.

The Gonzo Tapes: The Life And Work Of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Distributed by Sony BMG
Release Date: October 28, 2008
Selection No.: 826663-10992
Suggested List Price: $59.98

Disc 1 - HELL’S ANGELS  Bass Lake Run . . . Terry The Tramp Interview #1 . . . Driving Back Through Oakland . . . The Merry Pranksters Welcome The Hell’s Angels . . . It’s A Long Dirty Story . . . Ha-Ha, Not Thump-Thump . . . Terry The Tramp Interview #2 . . . Zing Zong Wing Ding Rush . . . A Question For The Ages 

Disc 2 - FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS We Have Seized The High Ground . . . One Toke Over The Line . . . If All Else Fails We Must Get Ether . . . In Search Of The American Dream . . . Terry’s Taco Stand, USA . . . Anybody In Search Of The American Dream Needs A Lawyer, A Doctor And A Bodyguard  

 Disc 3 - MORE FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS  Goddamn! This Monster’s Licking My Arm! . . . Oscar Fled In Terror . . . Drug Up . . . Weird Road . . . Across This Treacherous Sand . . . A Huge Tidal Wave Will Come In On Me Now . . . Vegas D.A. Final Notes . . . The Whole Room Is Total Chaos . . . Wenner Calls . . . With A Big “W” in 65-Pt Type 

Disc 4 - GONZO GRIDLOCK 1973–1974   Guts Ball . . . Cozumel . . . Fear And Loathing In Acapulco . . . Freud Cocaine Papers . . . Fear And Loathing In Kinshasa

Disc 5 - FEAR AND LOATHING IN SAIGON  I’m The One That’s Supposed To Be Crazy . . . Hotel Continental Palace . . . The Thursday Night Panic . . . Last Stand At Xuan Loc . . . Hong Kong . . . The Last Dispatch From Saigon

The Gonzo Tapes

I just learned from, We Buy Balloons, that on October 28th, the world will be made privy to Hunter S. Thompson’s private gibberish, ranting, and mad genius. I have already pre-ordered my copy of The Gonzo Tapes, and I suggest you do the same. I can barely contain my excitement. Here is the blurb from Amazon:

Recorded by Hunter S. Thompson between 1965 and 1975, these tapes capture his thoughts and descriptions both as they're happening and in reflection, as he would often go back to rerecord commentary while writing. Filmmaker Alex Gibney, producer Eva Orner and Gonzo archivist Don Fleming were given permission by Thompson's widow to explore the boxes of tapes stored in the basement of his Owl Farm home in Woody Creek, Colorado, left behind after Thompson's suicide in 2005. Fleming transferred the audiocassettes and reel-to-reel tapes to digital files, and they made their way to the cutting room for the film Gonzo: The Life And Work Of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. Now for the first time these previously unreleased recordings are available in a 5-CD set. The Gonzo Tapes features original cover artwork by Gonzo artist Ralph Steadman, an amazing 44-page booklet full of never-before-seen images from Hunter S. Thompson's estate, along with memorable photos and an introduction by film director Alex Gibney, an essay by journalist and Thompson's fellow foreign correspondent Loren Jenkins, and notes by The Gonzo Tapes producer Don Fleming.

Before I go on please take a look at this to set the mood:


San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run . . . but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. . . .

History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time — and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened. There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . .

You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . . And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

And now forty years later, the watermark has all but completely disappeared, barley leaving even a hint that any moisture had been there at all. The forces of Old and Evil have made the subsequent generations unable to feel any sense of victory or community. They have erased every trace of victory that Hunter and the rest of the revolutionaries fought so hard to create. Raised on fast food, commercials, and situational comedies pimping farcical realities, we are a regressive generation. We exist as if the sixties never happened.

The madness has been erased from our lives, replaced by strip malls, subdivisions, and a robotic sense of conformity to the status quo that would make fascists proud. Splintered generations, cracking at the seams, we are political eunuchs, creatively numbed by commerce and a farcical advertised democracy. It what other time, but this deadened age, could a nation commit to endless war, while simultaneously looting the treasury, and the people… shop on, sleep walking, pushing our faces further into the trough.

Hunter speaks of lighting sparks anywhere and a sense of what they were doing being right, but now the planet is literally melting, resource wars loom in our immediate future, and there is no sense of doing what is right. There is no sense of doing anything. Where is our magical place, when is our time, where we can gather and act and spark the fires?

Where has our gonzo spirit gone? Where has my Gonzo spirit gone? I have read everything Hunter S. Thompson has ever written. If I were to name one hero/role model in my life, Hunter’s name would top the list.

Hunter’s antics and words have guided me on the path I have taken since the fateful day in high school, when I read the opening line of Fear and Loathing. There was a time in my life when I prided myself on my drug and alcohol consumption, and so, Hunter was an obvious role model to emulate, but now older and wiser, I still consider Thompson a father figure. As a high school student, it was Hunter’s sheer bravado that I found appealing, but now I don’t need to know the amount of drugs he consumed, or what an ass he made of himself, I need to be reminded of his faith in the energy that pushed the wave mentioned above, so that maybe we could recreate a movement that will give us hope against the forces of Old and Evil. A faith in our ability to ride a wave of possibilities is what I need from Gonzo today.

In my twenties, I chased Hunter like some rabid fan, trying to feed off his energy. I tattooed his logo on my chest as a reminder of the ideals he stood for. I swore at twenty-four that I would never allow myself to forget what Gonzo means to me.

At thirty-four, sober, with a toddler working in some god forsaken desert for some corporate oil goons. This has got to be the end of the Gonzo line, where to next? What could the symbol possibly mean at this point?

Honestly, I am not sure. This is what scares me and makes this post and these tapes so important. I could type some gibberish about staying true to my beliefs, or maybe about not giving up, but I think this disillusionment about our current time is why I am so excited about these tapes. I don’t plan on ever throwing myself back into the alcoholic whirlpool that nearly drown me, but I do want to lose myself in Hunter’s words, because more than his immature and absurd behavior it has always been his words that have saved me. I need them in any form.

I will keep you posted, when the tapes arrive in a few weeks.