confusion

it seems to me
more and more important
from this day forward:
as the tiny vessels,
veins, and arteries in
my kidneys rupture,
causing the intricate web of roots
to confuse blood and urine,
blending the various forms
of water in my body, (of which we are all made)
into a saffron stained stream
until it hurts to stand there and wait,
drip. drop,

to always carry a book
of poetry with me
wherever I go,
like a carcass to pick at,
sucking on the tiny bones
stripping them of any
useful flesh

hoping not to choke