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partner | ˈpɑːtnə | noun

a person who takes part
in an undertaking
with another or others,
especially in a business or firm friendship
with shared risks and profits.

tracing a friendship back
to its big bang moment,
especially after thirty-five years
can be daunting and a bit hazy.

was it the first time this person
entered your consciousness:
eighth grade-
he was small like me,
poor(er) like me,
operated on the periphery like me
and wore a red gotcha surf shirt
that didn’t seem to fit right every time
i see him in my mind’s eye.

was it the first time this person
spoke to you:
ninth grade-
“a few of us are going to jason’s house
to play basketball. you should come.
wanna ride our bikes over there together?”

that exchange has to be what explains
the existence of the observable universe
of this relationship.

it took
one extended hand
one invite
one act of openness
or maybe it was desperation (on his part)
that led to this collection of
memories,
experiences,
jobs,
confessions,
adventures,
addresses,

1313 fourth street.
1576 south novato boulevard.
1024 forth street.
1468 haight street.
524 natoma street.

circling the shows every saturday
for the upcoming month in the pink datebook
scalping tickets on market street,
waiting in the lines,
loud drives to shoreline, the coliseum and san jose,
short walks to the warfield and the filmore:
pearl jam, nine inch nails, rage against the machine,
alice in chains, soundgarden, show after show,
in between working at pier 23, waiting for the n judah,
painting the bus green and the purple shag carpet
losing a week in montana,
that strange night in chicago,
dc, new orleans, eastern arizona.

there is library of what needs
to be said about us—
the fragments of any big bang
float and form this universe,
too much flotsam and jetsom
to make sense of,
in the end it will all feel like
a flash of chaos,
a sped up highlight reel,
we’ll want to desperately slow down,
stop and saviour.

i always hoped the years we spent
together in our youth would last a life time,
but the quips and gifs on our phones,
feel inadequate.

the well of memory never runs dry,
but the future demands more.
miss you partner.
till the next time.