55/365

looking back,
assimilation sometimes felt
like abuse.

looking back,
my weird foreign name
was an exclusionary badge.

looking back,
the terrorists in the movies
are why the kids said things like:
camel-jockey,
rag-head,
sand-nigger.

looking back,
wanting
their clothes,
their cars,
their culture
is what made me feel alone.

looking back,
the names of their neighbourhoods:
glennwood, peacock gap, country club
left our hoods:
bahia vista, the canal
feeling cheap and other.

looking back,
being on the team,
making eye contact with cheerleaders,
wearing the jersey at the pep rally,
made me a poser and shallow.

looking back,
the american dream
like a hammer
smashing,
created this hyphenated
citizen.

looking back,
assimilation sometimes felt
like abuse.